The child’s right to play and create

War zones

It is not always easy for adults to live in war zones or other horrific situations

to respect this urgent need for children to play

STILL

it is precisely in these tragedies that it is most urgent.

Trapped in fear

Indeed, when we children are in the greatest distress (and often our parents and other adults around us), we often stop playing.

We shut ourselves away in fear and shock, unable to play or draw or do anything that is fun and full of imagination.

Too many wounds

Sometimes we do play, but it involves destruction because we live amidst violence or suffer from too many injuries or confusion.

Often, when we play, we repeat the same scene, the same danger, the same fear, the same attempt to escape, over and over again.

This isn’t a fun, imaginative game, but a trauma, so it isn’t really a game at all.

Magic fairy or magician

This is the only time when it is truly right for adults to stop our play or our drawing.
These scenes of horror repeat themselves over and over again.

They can then gently stop us – by introducing someone or something that brings something new and constructive into the scene or story – for example, a magic fairy or a magician with wonderful powers to bring peace or calm the madness of it all.

The feeling of being alive

When we manage to play, we feel so good.
We must enjoy this feeling of being alive.

It’s the best remedy for traumatised children!

If our mind is closed and our body is caught up in trauma-related reactions, that’s normal.

Taking over the impossible

We can thank our bodies for taking over, taking over the impossible – to support us when it’s too hard and too shocking.

Thank you to the body for protecting us even when everything feels strange or turns upside down.

If we have suddenly experienced something horrific, we will no longer even feel like the person we used to be.

Too many clouds

By losing so much, we may feel as though we have lost our true selves.

With too many clouds in our minds, or a real storm, we can’t think straight and our bodies often react by jumping at the slightest sound.

Don’t worry if I’m shaking.

Feeling safe

Let my body release all the excess energy.

Just check that I’m safe. Speak in a calm voice.

Don’t bother explaining anything just yet, but do take the time to describe the situation in simple terms.

Coming back to life

It’s a lot to ask of an adult who is also disoriented by the violence or suffering from trauma,

but I’m telling you this anyway because
if you manage to help me play or create or build

you’ll feel good too – you’ll see your child come back to life.

When you watch me play or play with me, it will calm you down a bit too!
You’ll feel a sense of openness, whereas before you were suffering from a kind of closed-off feeling.

I imagine

I don’t need shop-bought toys to play.
I can play with stones, cardboard or sticks of different sizes.

If I don’t have any paper or pens, I scratch my drawings in the sand,

or pour water from a bottle into a cup – if there’s any water –

and I imagine I’m helping thirsty people or serving in a restaurant.

Really being there

Play, creation and building are so important.

Children (and therefore adults too) come alive through them,

feel as though they truly exist because of them

and connect with others through them.

Help me to play

Help me to play, wherever we are.

And play with me, make up stories with me,

and make up little imaginary characters or animals with me.

Thank you for this kind of care. It is another kind of nourishment, after the first which keeps my body alive.